everyone is such a wonderful creation once you get to know them (:
think positive, look through optimistic eyes.
because timothy, there's a beautiful world out there -
if you just give it a chance to resurface under your past cynicism.

'nuff with pondering over existentialism and gloomy topics
these past 4 months in a new school has given me so much more to be happy about
im truly happy (:

cos there're things to look forward to,
& goals to work hard towards

what pleases me most about life - is that i've a slice of that pie (:
smarty-pants timoo :P

....& so do people, so do you and i


As your social circle widens,
And as you come into closer proximity of people of the other gender

You'll discover new things about other brilliant people
And new traits that make such wonderful people who they are.

You forge new bonds with people and friends from the past
And along with them - new people with their own friendship to offer you.

Read - and realise you've changed
Think - and wonder if all these are inevitable.
Look - and marvel at how much more colorful your life has been lately

As we all move on towards a new chapter of our lives,
It would, judging from you - whom I thought would always stay the same,
Seem that change is part of growing, living and experiencing.

I pray no longer that I do not change
Neither do I tell myself to stay the same.

I pray -
That we all change ourselves.

That we all mould ourselves into people we've never seen before
Or realise we could have become.

But more than that,
I pray -

That along the way,
We remain conscious of who we are, and what we want to grow up to become.

That through the journey,
We change to become someone wiser,
Someone though adapt to the change - but still within him, the heritage of what-have-beens
Someone vibrant, loud and outgoing - but innately innocent and stepping within limits and fine lines

And for you I pray,
Thanking you for allowing me to realise that people do change

And although change is transient,
Change need not be scary.

Change made me more proud of who you are.
Change made me realise how much of you I lack.
Change taught me how to respect your individuality as something unique and beautiful.

And change...
Led me then to think how much of this friendship I really have hold of left.

'Cos apparently,
Not much.

.....& a very happy me (:

Here's wishing a happy post
To this dearest someone who gives me a reason to be happy.

When I finally find a reason to:

1. Look forward to bedtime so the sun rises faster
2. Jump out of bed sometimes even before my alarm goes off
3. Carry along a hoodie everywhere I go
4. Remind myself to drink water at home and...
5. fill up my bottle before I run out of my door
6. Buy even the smallest of things
7. Put myself in second place
8. Try to make you happy
9. Make every one of your smiles count
10. Be all that I could ever be for you
11. Rack my brains for the past 10 points to let you know how much I truly am glad to have you

Then I'd have probably found out how much:
1. You truly mean the world to me
2. I wanted you to smile just that little bit after reading this
3. Harder it would be for me to leave later without telling you

i love you.

angry

upset

disappointed;

a week ago, you asked me what spurred me on to tell you what i did.
maybe, 'twas cos i was selfish =P


doing so would have risked losing you in our friendship;
but if i hadn't, i would have lost you in me

// (:

im sorry for the traumatic up-and-down week you had;
but im glad i had you through it all
(:

life may not always be a walk in the park ><

but even so,
that's kinda like a good thing =P

cos now,
i feel like im having a slow stroll in a beautiful garden (:

i dont need the whole world
just the few of you in mine
& you.

--- An old, ancient, Greek philosopher i~diot
ME~ =D

i had a great day with the two lovelies;
though i was off to a bad start

but i am glad it happened,
and im glad it took place with them

the boy's strangely not tired,
playing ball .__.
sleeping two hours =P

while miss p's been a really good girl and sleeping =]
well.. she's been busy (:
but s'alright now, as long as she's ohkaye ((: **

im happy
for the both of them

im happy
to have the both of them


**no matter what you're doing
how busy you are doing it
or how much time you spend doing it
where you've to travel to do it

as long as you're doing ohkaye

im ohkaye with your doing

in a conscious effort to make my entries look shorter
and more readable =P

i shall rent technology, mother of geeks
and goddess of ntuc-scanners

and BEHOLD!
( LJ CUT! )

ohkaye, its 2am
i was sleeping till an hour ago
btu someone HAD to wake me up to do this -.- (...dont ask)
this is pretty long though, le sighh
i should've picked something (a lot) shorter =/
ohwell. here we go:

----------------------------------------------------

Is there anyone you really want to see right now?
its bout 2am in the morn. even if i did, no one would wanna see me ):

What did you sleep in last night?
my jersey and trackpants

What is the biggest lie you ever believed?
that pink panadols would cure headaches in a flash
(ohh and if you didnt know, those things are for menstrual cramps -.-)

What are you listening to?
me grumbling that i should be asleep now and not here..

Which one of your cousins is closest in age?
ermm. chunkit.

What are you doing tonight?
growing eyebags.

Does the last person who put their arms around you mean anything to you?
well if they did. they'd better be. or it'll be kinda sick, wouldnt it =P

Are you wearing socks?
nope. my toes need to breathheee ((:

Do you regret something you did the day before yesterday?
friday? hmm.. ohyea, that i didnt go out to lunch

Have you ever kissed an ex after you'd broken up?
tough luck on that, ehh?

Who is the last person of the opposite sex that you talked to?
does an elf count? .__.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
long since i've kissed. but yea, probably. the walls have eyes!

When was the last time you talked to your number one?
not sure who that was. but if its number one, then.. hell yea

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?
im sure i fell asleep while mom was breastfeeding me >.<

Do you still talk to the person you kissed last?
mommy and i talk. and bicker. a lot. and its real funny too!

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
nahh. not even Mr. Tumour

What's your favorite season?
Ice Lemon Tea. heh =P

What woke you up this morning?
nervous impulses. involuntary reflex. kinda twitched my arm till it nagged me awake.

Are you stubborn?
really depends. are you nice? (:

Who was the last person you took a picture with? Why?
lotsa people. batch dinner though, i kinda didnt have much of an option =P

What were you doing at midnight last night?
talking in my sleep, i think?

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
yegods, forgive me for i've sinned~ so.. nope ):

Do you want to move out?
heck no, i've free lodging & food here. i even get living allowance! =D

Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like nothing?
dont remember. but at the rate i remember all the good stuff i did (yeah, thats nature), nope.

What do the majority of people in your life call you?
crazy.

Do you still talk to the person you were dating 6 months ago?
assuming it happened, sure! (:

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
if i called someone up now, sure. they'll even remember this grudge for a loonnnggg time (its 2.20am)

Do you kiss a lot of people?
not at all. havent kissed anyone in years .__.

Is anyone jealous of you?
i hope so. cos that'll actually mean there's something good in my life worth getting green over.

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
that excludes my brain.... right? ):

Ever been IN a wedding?
nah. and i've no witted reply to this.

How do you feel about chocolate covered strawberries?
"why it feels better to be the one with the teeth huh, strawberry"

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
i dont know ): time will tell, time will tell..

Are you taller than 5'5?
OF COURSE! xD and im PROUD OF IT

Do you hate being alone?
at certain times of the month, nope.

Is smoking one of your turn offs?
whaddya expect it to turn me on? shove a ciggy up my sexual organs and i'll shove it back up yours. play time~

Do you like the song 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy Perry?
dont know it. but by the title of the song, suureee. that's gonna be a favourite!

Does it gross you out when girls don't shave their legs/armpits?
of course not! i date gorillas and apes! -.-

What kind of dog do you want? Why?
a pretty, hot girl born in the Year of the Dog. why? cos... well... nature defined it xP

Could you eat nothing but grilled cheese for a week straight?
im a carnivore. cheese. is not. meat.

What’s the longest you've been hospitalized?
'bout a week. after i crawled out of my mom's vagina and failed to crawl back in.

Would you ever go out with your best friend's ex?
well. she's still our mutual friend (: sure we will. (we include me, right? i didnt cheat)

Have any interesting conversations lately?
bet'cha. amusing ones too.

Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
i'd have to disappoint that person xD cos i dont check my voicemail. heeee!

How do you feel right now?
recharged. i mean, its half past 2am. i shouldnt feel sleepy .__.

Do you find it in your heart to forgive?
well err.. i found it easier to re-compensate me =P

Anything you're looking forward to?
the end of this.

Do you have trust issues?
nope. but i've thrust issues.

Do you believe in true love?
in a way... not snappy comebacks for this either =/

How long have you known the person you're currently attached to?
im not a conjoined twin ((:

When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
quite a while back. havent played any song by james blunt yet.

Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
any chance those evil cinematic goons would waiver my entry fee?

What sport do you enjoy watching?
racing. cos they go round and round and round. i dont have to watch to know what's going on -.-
like hey! what a timesaver =]

How many kids do you want?
two. so they can be conjoined. then they'll be attached forever and answer the question above which i cant

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
not till tonight when it rang, woke me up, and plonked me here to do to this thing

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing now?
adidas.

Would you rather live in Alaska, or Texas?
alaska. cos armagedon(spelling?) took place in texas.

Have you ever felt replaced?
haven't put myself on the shelf yet (:

What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
my finger which scoops it.

Do you prefer hot or cold weather?
i like it hot when its cold
and cold when its hot.

Do you know the song "De Colores?"
im english. "de colores" is chinese. no, me no know ):

Are you crazy?
guess what "the majority of people in [my] life call me"

Would you stay in a place that is rumored to be haunted?
i wouldnt. but i sure stayed in school. and at home, when mommy's pissed.

Have you ever wished that you were a different gender?
yeah. i sure wish i were a guy, not gay ):

What is the last song you sang out loud?
my lovely singapore anthem. but t'was at one decibel. ehh, loud enough kay! xP

Who would be the first person to know you were pregnant?
oh my goodness? ME?! REALLY?! HAHA YAYYYY! =]

Are you happy?
of course. im pregnant.

Do you think before you speak?
my brain tells me what to say. so indirectly, YES! :)

Do you make the wrong choices often?
i've more forced choices (uhh humm. like doing this. AT THIS TIME!)

How are you and your current ex?
current ex? say thats quite a cool oxymoron =D
you cant fool me! I GOTCHA! I GOTCHA!

Have you made a really tough decision recently?
made a lot more tough beef steaks.

Can you always count on your parents to be there for you?
no when my candy runs out. cos all they do is tell me, "wait."

What do you drink most often?
ribena and yakult

Have you ever fallen for someone older than you?
im a paedophile! you think?

What are you doing Thursday?
omgg no. im not doing her! im pregnant. no sex ma'am!

If some one paid you $100 would you dance in the middle of times square?
as an expression, of course! i'd even JUMP for joy in the middle of times square, skip in glee and dance in joy.

Who is your last text message from?
shanice.

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you?
not really. i'll spend more of it wondering where i've seen them before.

Are you any different now than you were a year ago?
of course! i've lost a fair bit of hair.

Is anything upsetting you right now?
the fact that im no where near done sure is dissing me off ><

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
the slc facs. but there were so many of them i dont know who saw me last.

How many cell phones have you had in your life?
three. and counting.

What's the last thing you laughed really hard over?
mommy's joke. she called herself smart. HYAH!

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
laughing at mommy's jokes.

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
they might've banged my head against the wall or dropped me a few times ):

Will this weekend be a good one?
sure. it'll be better than the next, for sure. someone's leaving on the next.

Did you have a good birthday this year?
ayeee! great people, great surprise. of course! =D

Is there a girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you?
now that i aint sure ): people say its hard understanding me =/
but i'll try to improve! =]

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
is my "favourite species of a dog" gonna appear?

Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
poohbear. and stitch.

Did a boy or girl text you last?
neither. elf.

What is the last thing you said out loud?
let me sleep~

Name something exciting you are doing tomorrow?
waking up with very little sleep! wow! =]

Are you currently waiting on any tattoos or piercings?
nooopppeee.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
stop asking -.- dont keep reminding me, dumbass.

What were you doing at noon today?
having lunch or getting my specs done. cant remember which =/

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
myself. im taking really long at this!

Is there someone you will never forget?
what grievance you do unto me, ye foolish man

When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong?
when i picked up "the phone that rang at midnight"

Is there a girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you?
stop asking the same thing, dont delay me ):

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
heee. uhyeah. im sorry =P

Are you uncomfortable staring into someones eyes who likes you?
wouldnt stare into theirs xD

Would you change yourself for someone you loved?
"loved" is past tense. "change" is present tense. so NOPE!

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
MARS! HAHAHA!

Where were you friday night?
home. you wanna know "what i did last summer" too?

Do you have plans for today?
first up, im gonna sleep!

Have you kissed anyone in the past 2 days?
not in 2 years, honey ):

Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn't?
why, guess who woke me up to do this -.-

Do you think you're smart?
guess who picked up the call at midnight -.-

Have you kissed anyone who smokes?
such a turn on! =] puff in my mouth, and make it come out through my ears!

Do you have unlimited texting?
with daddy paying. sure i do (:

If you had enough money what would you buy?
a hot Dog (: OMG OMG HAHA! TELL ME YOU GET IT )):

Can you fight?
i always win against my soft toys! =]

Who can't you stand?
someone who LIES. heeheee! SO PUNNY! =]

How's your heart?
pumping good. not as empty as my stomach too.

What do you want right now?
"The End. That's All Folks"

How old do most people usually guess you are?
mentally three.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
im shallow ): im mentally three!

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
printed it out on paper and hole-punched it =]

What will you be doing in a half hour?
with a stroke of luck, making out on my bed

Who is the last person you texted?
hey! i answered this ):

Do you have any plans for Christmas?
OHH YES I DOOO! =] and by golly! IM SO EXCITED

Are you going anywhere next summer?
hey! a sequel to "i know what you did last summer!" excittinnnggg!

Story behind your MySpace name?
havent had one. so it probably means: "im a dork. i use facebook"

Are you shy?
im three. i hide behind momma's legs =/

Are you a talkative person?
am i shy?

What are you doing tomorrow?
I ANSWERED THIS!

Have you kissed anyone on the cheek within the past month?
rephrasing it wont help! nyeehh!

How late did you stay up last night and why?
ohmygosh. i've no idea ): i cant recall

Do you prefer to call or text?
text.

Can you live a day without TV?
ofcourse! leave me my mac and candybars.

What is wrong with you right now?
my blood pressure's rising and my eyes are drooping. i think its called fatigue.

What is the longest you have been in the car for a road trip?
8 hours. do that twice a year. and thats cos the singapore-msia checkpoints jam up so bad ):

How many months are there until your birthday?
half a year. ohman. how many months is that ):

Did you like anyone last summer?
you're supposed to know "what i did last summer"

Are you ashamed of your past?
sure i am. i picked up the "call at midnight"

Who were you with Friday night?
dont rephrase your previous questions, you devious fiend !

Do you ride rollercoasters?
now im an emotional wreck ):

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
hate you.

What were you doing at 10 last night?
hate you again.

Do you have any enemies?
people arent as forgiving as i am, huh ):

How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
im sleepy. i'll pretend i didnt read this question.

Think back a year, what was your favorite song?
"five minutes to midnight" cos boy, do i wish that was the time now. (its 3.12am already)

What should you be doing right now?
you think? -.-

Starbucks or Cold Stone?
hit me out cold with a stone and i'll love you. i need sle*p

Do you believe in love at first sight?
sure do. but the more i look at my pillow now, the more the love intensifies!

Have you ever met a gay person?
ohkay so maybe i was wrong. my favourite song last year, "welcome to my life"

Do you have a favorite soft drink?
"MUG" rootbeer. 'nuff said

------------------------------------------------------

IM DONE!
IM DONE!

im off to sleep.
goodnight, hate the world, hate you, hated this.

BYE!

Life likes taking deep hard digs at you especially when you were just thinking,
"Hey I think life is getting sooooo great"

Right so I did think today was off to a great start!
I jumped out of bed when the sun was still smiling,
Had an AWESOME breakfast,
Catched some cartoons before miss p woke up,
SURPRISINGLY early =P

Then I made plans for the late afternoon - evening - night
Mommy and Papa whisked me off to lunch!

After which I got my new squash racket,
New shorts and something for sister.

Finally, the world came crashing down

So here I am, staring up at the non-starry, non-sunny sky
Wondering how the two darlings are!


..... well obviously much better than me


I feel like sitting in a corner weeping
And throwing stones and random kids cos they're happier than i

But I figure I'll just nibble at my fingernails
And continue PMS-ing


SHOOO EMOOO-SXZS


-.- yeah right
dont lump me in with the emo club
im soooo wayy cooler